Bittersweet thoughts

Ok, I have been silent long enough. I know that social media is not the way I should express my feelings like this, but this is all I have of a journal and if I don't write down my feelings, I will forget the way I am feeling and I NEVER want to.

Preface: This is only for my benefit, so take it as you will. Please don't take offense, this was not directed to anyone but myself.

As we were celebrating my angel's two year birthday, my dear friend was saying goodbye to her angel. My friend will never get to have a celebration for her daughter turning 2. It breaks my heart to pieces. I am so grateful for my knowledge of God's plan and I know where this little angel is, she is not far, but my heart aches for my friend who is feeling so empty and alone.

After spending a week in Primary Children's hospital rooting for this little spirit to stay with us on Earth, they realized God had different plans for this little angel. My friend had to say goodbye and come home to a house strewn about with little girl's toys and a messy room. She had to do the dirty laundry of little dresses that will never be worn by her lil monkey again.

She has to wake up in the morning to silence. Her whole life in the past 18 months has been consumed with playing, singing, feeding, cuddling this little girl who is just gone.

Like so many other people all over the world have said, it's moments like this that make you realize what is really important in life.

For me, it's FAMILY.

It's being there when someone needs you.

It's taking the free moments in life to better myself.

This life is so short and so fragile.

Yet, it is just a blink of an eye in the eternities.

I am so grateful that I was able to attend her funeral. I know that the things that were said were for me just as much as this little girl's parents.

We were taught the TRUTHS of the gospel.

Truth: We knew before we came what our trials would be in life, yet we wanted to come get a body so that we could live with God forever. My friends accepted this trial before they even came to Earth.

Truth: After we leave this life, we are still here on earth as spirits. We are here to be angels to those still being tried and tempted by Satan.

Truth: This little angel was so precious and such a righteous spirit that her time on earth was so short. She came and got a body, touched so many lives and now she is continuing her work on the other side without the influences of Satan to distract her.

I feel so honored to have met her and to have her touch my life like she did.

I am so grateful to be a mother and to have been trusted with such special children of God to tend for and to teach the gospel to. What a huge responsibility, I feel so honored to be trusted with this task.

I know that my friend will be okay. I know that because of what she has gone through, she will be a stronger, better woman. I know that her little angel came down and started her mission, and now it is up to my friend and to all of us who were touched by her to become a better person from knowing this angel, otherwise her mission won't be completed.

I love you my dear friend, I know your heart aches right now. I wish I could take the pain away. I know you were chosen to be her mommy and I know that Heavenly Father is proud of you for how you are handling this trial.

Thank you lil monkey for teaching me what really matters in life. Thank you for showing me how to enjoy life and how to be happy.

You will never be forgotten!